I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
