Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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