I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
