okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
how does that bad decision feel?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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