Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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