Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
