the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
