Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
