I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize