I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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