so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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