Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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