We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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