Who wears a wallet chain?!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
