she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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