New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
