i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
