Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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