meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
