Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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