i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
