what day is it and did you see me today?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
