I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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