The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
