I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
