At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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