I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
