Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So apparently I’m into choking now
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