Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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