Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
