so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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