I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
