U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
