Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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