Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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