you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
