I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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