Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
