Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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