It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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