Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
