Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
