If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
