I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
