careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
