so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
