Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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