Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize