i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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