you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
