Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
