Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize