would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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