plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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