the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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