MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
