Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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