dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize