are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
