i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
