sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
