Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
