Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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