i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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