My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize