After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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