How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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